The madness of me

Well yet again in my life i have found myself once again sucked in to the sad trap of trusting people this seems to happen alot to me am to trusting for my own good as i see everyone like i see myself.

I dont lie smoke rarely drink and trust my friends alot until that trust is broken and then it takes a hell of alot to put it back but i will never trust that person the same again this happened again this week i trusted my friend she even had a key to my place and told her everything this however was an unbelievable mistake as we have now fallen out over a number of things mainly a guy and me going to the loo and locking my flat door behind me which is the reason for the use of a key but hey we all cant be brainiacs can we but logic would of thought to use the key instaed we have a 10 min argument on the rules of my flat

yes you may find this funny but i have spent the last 2 weeks making sure she is happy safe and looked after this has now been thrown in my face along with the guy who was also the point of an argument you would think ur friend would tell you the truth when you ask if they still like the guy but NO what does she do yes denys everything hence the argument o well maybe one day i will learn not to trust people as much and not fall for your mates boss.

Why do people not talk about things that are hurting them instead of bottlin it up.

You love people so much and want to stop their pain but cant, i certainly wish you had spoken to me then maybe it would be different but ill be makin sure now ill seem like one crazy stalker but your my friend and am one fierce friend if thats the only good thing i can say about myself then thats the one i like.

Your an amazing person you seriously didnt think i would drop you that easy you aint gettin rid your stuck now mate lol.

You wait it will be 1 hell of a ride and i promise you that am not gonna lose you now anyway enuf ramblin this goes to you you know who you are am not gonna say names but get better my love and prayers are with you

Love S xxxxx

Dont you just hate it when your best mate goes all out on you and tells you everything you dont want to hear well today i got the lot

1. my choice in men
2. my choice in friends
3. how i screw with my own head
4. my ex bfs
5. how i am not good enough for 1 certain guy

yes today she hit me with all of these the main 1 was number 5 how i like a certain friends friend and how i am nowhere near good enuf for him or his standards apparently only your friends tell you how it is this certain guy is extremly clever from what i know of and apparently weather or not im good enuf for his social standing in the community or not he just playin me to get at my mate and wind her up of past events why can mates never accept you for who you are and why do they feel the need to tell you your not good enuf when they dont even know the damn guy.

its like ooo hes extremly good looking and your not u cant have him coz he wont want you or how did they say it why would he want someone like you when he looks like that and can have them queing round the corner you got no chance girl.

well this is my message to them i can have who i want i dont need to be all girlie and in dresses to look decent and if he dont want me then thats fair enuf at least i wont get hurt in the process.